I haven’t blogged in a while. Life’s been a little crazy to say the least. God’s been working on me, but I’m not sure how to articulate things at this point. I’m sure thoughts will mature over the course of my life. First, and foremost, I thank the Lord for His continual blessings upon me. I don’t deserve them. None of us do.
Almost a month ago, my wife and I welcomed our fourth child into our family. We are thankful. However, nothing was normal concerning the arrival of this sweet boy. The above picture is of my wife and son in recovery following emergency caesarean section delivery (for the record, the term “emergency C-section” is used far too often, but in this case it truly was). I have had a number of doctors look at me after his birth and ask me, “Do you know how lucky you are that they are both alive?” I was told that I came 1-4 minutes from losing them both. This is sobering.
I’ll be processing this last month for a while, but one thing that I’ve been pondering is worship. Everything went well with our near miss. Seriously, a number of things had to go the way they did for us to have this happy ending. The word “miracle” has been used often surrounding the birth of my son. I’ve been praising God for His provision in sparing my wife and son. I mean this sincerely, as you can imagine.
Yes, I continue to praise the Lord through the positive circumstances of these scary events, but what if things went differently? I know I can’t really answer that question from a speculative position, however, this question percolates in my thoughts repeatedly. Had my wife and son both died, would I worship God just the same? Obviously, I hope that I would. Well, I doubt the same, but I hope I’d be worshiping Him respectively if that makes sense. I should love God because He loved me and saved me through Christ, not conditionally based on “good things” that happen to me in this life. My life, death, and eternity are His. He is worthy of my worship because He is my Creator. Job’s words seem particularly relevant to me now, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I shall return there. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord” (Job 1:21). I am thankful they were spared, but that doesn’t imply my worship of Him is contingent on things going well.
Another thought that has been circulating my thoughts is the question, “How often does God spare me each day and I don’t even notice?” God’s protection with the birth of my son was pretty spectacular. It’s easy to give Him thanks for His protection in this very clear sparing of life that was almost lost. But what about the accidents I don’t get in while driving down the freeway, or not hitting that car while backing out of my spot at Costco, or whatever that accident was that I didn’t have and didn’t even notice? I’m pretty sure that I should be thankful for all the non-eventful things I have each day.
We each have so much to be thankful for, but shamefully our focus is grumbling about petty rather insignificant things in the grand scheme of life. I’m a master at this. I might not verbalize my complaints, but they’re there loud and clear in the recesses of my heart. I’d like to say, “Not anymore!” But, I know me all too well. I will say that my desire and ambition is to work on being more thankful and appreciative for the little things in my life from deep within my heart on a daily basis.